Spirituality in the Modern World.

In this day and age, it often feels as though everything around us is designed to either alarm or intrigue us, control or deceive us. The constant barrage of information, wild news, and societal pressures can create a sense of overwhelm that clouds our judgment and stifles our spiritual growth. However, I am here to reassure you that regardless of where you find yourself in your spiritual awakening journey, I am here to hold space for you and assist you in realizing your inherent greatness. I understand that during a spiritual awakening, a myriad of feelings, emotions, and deeply ingrained programming can surface, creating confusion and discomfort. I can relate deeply to this experience, as I went through several intense years of healing and deprogramming myself. It was not an easy task, especially since I navigated this journey largely on my own. There were times when I felt isolated and believed I was losing my grip on reality. I had no one to share my thoughts and feelings with, which made the process even more challenging. Over the span of about two years, I found myself compelled to revisit my past, tracing back to childhood memories, examining relationships, engaging in inner child work, and confronting my own shadows. The emotional weight of shame, guilt, and other negative aspects that emerged during this introspection felt almost unbearable at times. I experienced several breakdowns along the way, moments when the burden felt too heavy to carry. Yet, reflecting on those experiences now, I recognize that they were all essential and vital to my growth as a spiritual being navigating this complex human experience. I can see a sad little girl in my memories, one who felt lost and confused in a world that often seemed unkind. It was crucial for me to cultivate immense compassion for myself, something I struggled to do at that time. Those breakdowns, which felt like the end of the world, were actually pivotal moments that propelled me toward continued growth and lasting peace. I realize now that those moments of despair, where I reached my breaking point and dropped to my knees, were the catalyst that set me on this transformative path. Had I not experienced that deep sense of desperation, I might not have developed the fervent desire for true and lasting change within my inner world. As frightening as it was to confront my past and the choices I made that shaped the version of myself I had grown so tired of, I now see that this struggle was necessary. I could have remained trapped in the cycle I had been stuck in for years, yearning for change while feeling powerless to achieve it. Thankfully, divine timing and my deep-seated desire for something greater intervened. I began to seek solace and inspiration in uplifting music, enlightening podcasts, and books focused on self-improvement, healing, breathwork, energy work, and other transformative practices. I made conscious decisions to nourish my body with mostly organic foods, prioritized daily movement, expressed gratitude more consistently, and began to talk to myself with the kindness and compassion a mother would offer her child. Instead of starting my day scrolling through my phone, I turned to prayer and affirmations, creating a sacred space for myself to begin each day with intention. These seemingly small changes led to significant, tangible results in my life within just a few weeks. With each new book, my mind would then be ready for the possibility of greater things, and my entire perspective shifted in profound ways.

Throughout my life, I have always been an intuitive person, feeling the emotions of others very deeply. I have always prayed to God, yet I inherently believed that the Universe held the ultimate authority over our lives. This understanding was something I developed on my own, as I did not come from a religious background; I attended church only a handful of times as a child, and my parents did not practice any religion. Thus, I crafted my own understanding of spirituality, which has always been rooted in a level of faith that may not align with conventional practices. To provide some context for my journey, I got clean back in 2016. In the initial years of my recovery, I attended meetings and found a sponsor with whom I worked the steps with. This connection was invaluable, as it gave me someone to check in with, a friend after so many years of feeling unable to trust anyone beyond my immediate family. During those meetings, I referred to my higher power as God, although my interpretation of God was not that of a man in the sky. I understood that this higher power loved us and wanted us to love one another, and this belief became a cornerstone of my spiritual practice. Fast forward a few years, and the onset of the Covid pandemic brought about a significant shift in my connection with my higher power. With in-person meetings halted and social distancing measures in place, I felt a growing distance between myself and my spirit. Now, reflecting on that time, I recognize that this disconnection was precisely what the darker forces, seeking to maintain control, desired—keeping us isolated from one another and consequently from our higher selves. During this time, I found myself living in a city that felt increasingly stifling. My husband had just secured a full-time job, and we discussed our need for change. We decided to escape the hustle and bustle of city life, yearning for a place where our children could play outside and connect with nature. I longed for a garden, and he wanted to live closer to the snow for snowboarding and skiing. So, we took the leap and made that change. Now, as we stand in 2025, we can look back and see how much has transformed in our lives. Yet, one thing remains constant: my unwavering desire to better myself in every possible way. I am committed to breaking generational curses, growing as an individual, and nurturing my roles as a mother, wife, sister, and friend. This journey has not been without its challenges; there are days when I felt like giving up, days when tears flowed freely, and days filled with overwhelming joy that brought me to tears once more. For many years, I had suppressed my emotions and avoided crying, mistakenly believing it to be a weakness. Now, I embrace the act of crying, understanding its cathartic power. There is something truly wonderful about those moments of laughter that lead to tears; they are a reminder of the beauty and complexity of the human experience. I am grateful for the opportunity to share a glimpse of my journey with you today. With the size of my family and their activity levels, finding time to write can often feel like a gamble. However, I am thankful for this moment and for the storm that made it possible to connect with you all. Love to each of you as we continue on this journey together, navigating the complexities of life and our spiritual awakenings.